Today I want to talk to you about how to be successful.
Prefer to listen, check out the podcast on being successful here.
I’d like to examine what it is exactly and how we get what we define as success in our own life. I’ll share with you how I define success and to which extend I feel successful.
I’ll also share my coaching framework with you on how you can achieve your definition of success.
First, I’d like to define what success is
Wikitionary’s definition is:
‘Something which happens as a consequence; the outcome or result.’
That is great news.
If success is something that happens as a consequence, anything can be a success, which is good to know!
In that regard, perhaps this podcast should have been called: what it takes to get a result.
A result is a lot more neutral right? It doesn’t have this big weight of the word success. We tend to attach a lot of weight to the word success and how we only may be accomplished when we have it.
But let’s just stick with success for a moment. Because I also want to keep the article’s promise and show you how to get it.
What does success mean to you?
Does it have a money value for you?
A time value?
A status value?
I know that for me, for many years, there’s definitely a money value attached to it. And if I’m being really honest there still is. I’d still like to be ‘successful’ from a monetary point of view. My ego is not completely dissolved yet!
But let’s ask ourself some honest questions:
Am I successful?
How much money do I need to earn to be successful?
How much does my business need to grow to be successful?
Am I successful if I work more than 40 hours a week or is that evidence of not being successful as I’m not managing my time properly?
Am I successful as a mother?
Am I successful as a wife?
Am I successful as a person?
Do you see how complicated this word success is?
In my own life and business, I can find lots of examples that I am successful:
- I have a healthy multiple 6 figure business and am my own boss.
- I can pick the hours I chose to work and have a lot of freedom around that.
- I’m in a happy long term relationship
- My son seems to be doing well and I feel I’ve doing a good job as a mum
- I feel that I have very high morals and am happy with the way I am
- I’m disciplined and spend a lot of my time working towards my goals
I can also find lots of reasons to believe that I’m not successful:
- My business hasn’t grown as much as i’d like it to
- I haven’t quite structured and created the business exactly as I’d like to
- I haven’t prioritized connections the last year which leaves me a bit isolated in Singapore
- I can also see many ways where I could be a better mum and wife
- Although I’m disciplined there are lots of days when if feel I could have done more with my time
Which version is right?
The good news is: they are both right and I get to choose!
Success is very subjective.
And depending on how optimistic or pessimistic you are, you either consider yourself successful or unsuccessful or a combination of the two.
Why not choose to believe that you are already successful!
Find evidence around you to prove this. I’m sure you can find it. If I start thinking about it more, I can come up with plenty other reasons I’m successful.
- I’ve travelled extensively and have seen many countries. That was one of my childhood goals so that makes me feel very successful.
- I turned my passion into business.
- I learned to love myself.
- I learned to feel really happy by myself and love working alone.
- I read and listen to lots of books.
- I’m mentally very strong.
All of these make me feel very successful and put me in a state of abundance.
Now of course, your brain will start to chatter and point out all kinds of evidence that you are NOT successful. And that’s fine too.
But why not define those as RESULTS that we still like to achieve?
We’re already successful, so that doesn’t change.
If you get to remember ONE thing from this episode, is that feeling successful is a choice. You can choose to feel successful and find evidence for it.
You can also choose to feel unsuccessful and find evidence for that also.
But why would you pick that one when you can choose to feel successful and find evidence for that too?
Choosing to feel successful doesn’t mean that we can’t look at the reasons we don’t feel successful.
But rather we can look at them as the results we still like to create in our life.
These are results I still like to aim for:
- Grow my business further and teach a new framework I developed
- Offer more coaching and training programs in my business
- Become a keynote speaker
- Own 3 houses in 3 different countries and follow the nice weather
- Create a solid network of friends around the world
- Create my own retreat
What will it take to get these results?
I’ll tell you!
I have identified 4 key steps: the True Potential success framework
- A – Awareness – Know what you want and why you don’t have it yet – awareness is the key word here.
- B – Believe – Believe that you will be able to do it and learn to think on purpose.
- L – Lots of action – Take lots of massive action and be willing to fail and develop true confidence.
- E – Evaluate – Review and become your own coach by tapping into your (future) wisdom and truly tap into your true potential.
These steps are largely based on evidence from my own and customers’s business experience.
It’s the framework that has created the life I have for myself and I that I will continue to use in the future.
It’s a framework that gets results!
This is how I discovered it.
- I started asking myself why?
- Why did my business get results?
- Was it my persistence and hard work?
- My willingness to fail and try again?
- The clarity I got around my customers and what they wanted?
- The personal development work I studied and trained in?
- Luck or unicorn qualities?
I came to the conclusion that it’s a combination of all these things except for the last one. There was really very little luck involved and i’m definitely not anything special.
One of the main reasons I am where I am today, is that I was persistent and took lots of action (step 3)
I believed in myself enough that I just didn’t quit.
I didn’t quit when my first 7 to 10 attempts of setting up a website that got traction failed.
I didn’t take it (too)personal. – let’s be honest here. The brain wants to go to that place where it’s telling you that you’re not pretty enough, not smart enough, don’t live in the right country to reach a global audience.
I didn’t quit when I got a few nasty messages.
Believe me, many times I wanted to quit and just do something that was easier!
But I didn’t.
I failed, tweaked, failed, tweaked again, failed again and tweaked again.
I did that until I got a result.
The reason I was able to keep on tweaking is because I had belief in myself. I believed I could do it (step 2)
Somehow I believed enough that I was capable of getting the result that I simply did not quit.
I did not know it at the time but I was building self confidence.
Through failing repeatedly I build the capability to fail and not let it mean anything about me.
I learned that I could fail and still be ok.
If you listened to my last episode, you already know that, THAT is how you build true self confidence. If you haven’t listened to that episode yet, I highly recommend it.
The other crucial step is that I got clarity and focus! (step 1)
Before I got that clarity and focused on just ONE THING, I was working on 7 different websites at the same time. My attention was scattered.
No wonder I couldn’t get the result I wanted for any one of them.
It was only when I made a DECISION on what to focus on that I got the result I wanted.
Even though I was taking action and developed the willingness to fail, I had forgotten about the clarity.
I took the steps the wrong way around which is why it took me a lot longer to get the result I wanted
That is why I felt frustrated half the time and had to work my butt off to get it.
Right now, I see the same thing happening with my clients.
They are taking lots of action but nothing seems to be working.
They haven’t quite learned how to believe yet that they can do it.
They haven’t quite developed that true self confidence, that allows them to tweak and try again.
They’re not yet aware enough or have the clarity of how their thoughts create their results.
The focus needs to shift from no. 3 to numbers 1 and 2
So many programs and business coaches focus on the strategies and the actions you need to take to get the result you want.
But I have met so many women who have taken all the programs and still haven’t taken the actions they need to take the result they want.
And that’s because they haven’t fully mastered step 1 and 2 yet.
This is what I came to realize a little more than a year ago and the realization completely changed how I proceeded with my business.
I was in the process of creating programs that would give you all the strategies and the action steps.
But I realized that step 1 and 2 and also 4 were missing.
That’s why I got life coach certification as well to also teach you those steps in the best possible way
What’s truly needed is that you get lots of awareness, that you learn to believe, from there take lots of action and build confidence
Then in the final step you evaluate your result and mentor yourself to grow even further.
The only way that you can implement all the strategies and take all the actions to create the results you want, is to know what you want and what’s been holding you back and to develop the strong belief in yourself and your capabilities.
Then, when you add steps 3 and 4, you will be UNSTOPPABLE.
Once you have those 4 steps in place and apply to True Potential ABLE framework, NOTHING will stop you from getting the result you want.
In summary, the 4 steps create the acronym ABLE, short for CAPABLE
- A: Awareness
- B: Believe
- L: Lots of action
- E: Evaluate
If you like to start with the first step, you may like to join the Bucket List challenge.
It’s a fun way to get really clear on what you want. You’ll get your personal bucket list guide and I will also share a super handy tool with you that will help you become more aware and start the process of believing new things.
For a limited time, I’m also offering 1 on 1 coaching so if you’re interested in learning how to apply this framework in your own life and get the results you want, go to sylviavandelogt.com/appointment
Could you find lots of evidence for your success? What are the results you still want to create in your life?