BUCKET LIST CHALLENGE DAY 4
- Please note this is the same video as day 3
- Download your workbook for day 4 below
- Answer the questions in your workbook
- Comment below and let us know what your intentional model is
who is sylvia?
traveler and the creator of the popular websites 40plusstyle.com and sylviavandelogt.com.
She helps women feel better about themselves and get more confident so they can tap into their truest, fullest potential in business & life.
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C: Four piles of paperwork on my desk
T: I’ll feel great when everything is organized. It gets easier after you start.
F: Encouraged, responsible, confident
A: Get some coloured folders, start sorting by subject
R: More organized paperwork, more clarity of mind and feeling in control
It is still a bit difficult for me, as I tend to think I need to feel confident first in order to believe I can do things. I understand the model is about changing your beliefs, isn’t it? I hope it gets better with practice.
Feeling confident comes from a thought. You have a choice to feel confident about your capabilities to organize right now, but in order to feel that you need to think a thought first that you BELIEVE to make that happen.
Your thought here is more the result that you want. It’s very much written in the future and feels more like wishful thinking. I don’t think that will make you feel confident.
Pick a thought that will you feel confident in this moment.
Try this one: I’ can organize 10 pieces of paper today OR ‘all i need 4 hours of free focus time to organize this OR I have 1 hour today to start the organising process. That will kickstart my organsing of this’.
Perhaps one of these thoughts will make you feel confident and you will put in the required actions.
Your result is always about you: I have more clarity of mind and feel in control.
Hi Sylvia. I’m not sure I’ve got this down exactly yet, but here is my first draft of a more intentional model.
C: I do not have my own business/website/blog
T: I can start something on the side part-time so I can keep my current salary and benefits
F: Empowered and excited
A: Focusing on / determining what exactly the business will be
R: I have a subject/topic for my website/blog or business
Yes, see how that works for you.
Your A line is still a bit vague though and don’t add a feeling here.
You can add things like: do research on business options, make a decision on direction one month from now, register a business name, reserve 9 hours this week to spend on side business
Hi Sylvia,
My intentional model
C: My life
T: I believe in life and trust it. I can put that trust and belief in my inner voice and REALLY start LISTENING
F: Lightness, more relaxed not so frustrated, calm, more secure in the trust that things will unfold beautifully – trust and security in that feeling, growing confidence and self-assurance in self and capability, growing self respect and self worth
A: When inspiration strikes I fearlessly follow up on it with curiosity, openness and commitment. I give it my best shot and not be sloppy and indifferent in my commitment to the opportunities presented to me. I treat the opportunities coming my way with honour and respect. I take baby steps one step at a time.
R: I honour myself and my life.
Beautiful model Sushmita.
A few notes:
Choose only one feeling that derives from that thought. Each feeling leads to different actions.
Keep the action lines for things you do. You’re still adding a lot of feelings here and you’re mixing models. You can create different models for those. For example, if you want to feel curious, what do you need to think?
In you thought line you have included thoughts: eg. Things will unfold beautifully
Keep your models as simple as possible as that’s when they will be most effective. Only your A lines can have multiple lines but they can only be actions that you take.
Hi Sylvia:
Here is my intentional model
C: sedentary after work using social media
T:The fun starts now! the next 3 hours are dedicated to my well being yay!
F: inspired and grateful
A: go to the gym for a workout M_W_Saturday and Thursday 30 minutes on stationary bike + 30 squats, hot bath, prep healthy lunch for next day, pray 15 minutes then read a good book in bed.
R: Good mood, energized, feel confident and in control and becoming fit and strong.
Hi Irena,
You’ve chosen to look at the 3 hours spent on social media in a different way. If you believe this new thought, it can work but I’m not totally convinced by it.
Are you sure that this is the best way to reward yourself and only exercize in the weekend? Are you sure you want to keep the 3 hours doing ‘mindless’ things as you put it in your unintentional model?
I wonder what would happen if you chose the thought:
C: 3 hours on social media
T: I can reward myself in other ways
F:
A:
R:
You may want to give it some thought.
How about this intentional model
C: on social media 3 hours a day
T: this is not really rewarding or restful I can reward myself in these ways instead ; go to a hot yin yoga class
Go to a spinning class or stay home watch a program while on the stationary bike for 30 minutes
F: energized happy
A: do it
R: one step closer to my long term goal mood lifted
You want to keep the actions you take in the action line, as your feeling will not come from your actions but from your thought.
So if your thought is: this is not really rewarding or restful, how will you feel?
My guess is that your feeling will not be energized or happy from that thought. If it’s another feeling that serves you, then that’s great.
My suggested thought (I can reward myself in other ways) perhaps makes you feel resourceful?
You’ll want to find the thought that makes you feel in a certain way that will lead towards the actions you need to take that get you closer to the desired result.
Example:
C: on social media 3 hours a day
T: I can reward myself in other ways
F: resourceful
A: go to a hot yin yoga class, Go to a spinning class or stay home watch a program while on the stationary bike for 30 minutes
R: I’m rewarding myself and get closer to long term goal (specify it)
Thanks for sharing this technique with us, I feel more empowered already!
C (circumstance): I don’t have anything new to show my advisor
T (thought): The more I work on my thesis project with my advisor, the exciter, clearer and more focus I get about it.
F (feeling): I feel clear, engaged, passionate, productive and secure.
A (action): I work daily on my thesis project and talk weekly with my director and advisors.
R (result): I get my thesis project done on the stipulated times for getting graduated this semester.
Excellent Gina! Best to stick to one feeling as each of these feelings may lead to different action. What is the feeling that this particular thought generates?
Also the result is not something in the future. Add it as if it’s already done
Now practice this thought 🙂
Thank you Syjvia for guiding me to realize age was just an excuse for feeling ocerwhelmed with crippling thoughts
C- 2shopping bags of paper, empty binders, no will, budget or schedule
T- every week I am getting more organized
F- methodical and hopeful
A- make baby steps for organizational system (file paper into subjects and tackle one at a time filing into binders, work on app mint.com, set aside time, finish will
R- my affairs are more in order and my famil appreciates being able to find things by subject, I can stay on top of this in the future
Love it Judy. Taking small steps is great. It brings you on a new trajectory of becoming someone who organises 🙂
C: Overweight – 73 kg, BMI 28.5.
T: I have an attractive face and eyes.
F: Feel a bit more optimistic that I can find something to like about myself.
A: Try to focus on positives and a food plan I can stick with to lose weight.
R: Still 73 kg. It will take time to come up with a workable plan. Would like to start by losing about 5% of my body weight.
Good model although I would prefer if you didn’t add the word overweight in the C.
The work we do in my reinvention program is actually really suited for going on a weight loss journey as well and I’m both a certified life and weight loss coach. I’ll be doing one special training on this topic as I’d also like to teach you about hormones and urges and how that all can be managed.
As you say sticking to a food plan is key as is building good new habits and learning to manage your emotions and urges.
Would love to support you further with this Patti!
Hi Sylvia,
Thank you for the Bucket List and model. It has provided me with some insight on why I keep things that I don’t use. Although my challenge is focused on clothing, the model will help me deal with the other items that aren’t used but take up valuable space. There are too many items, clothes included, that I keep because they were given to me by people I love or have some other sentimental value, or “may need someday”; they feel like baggage now.
Here is my intentional model:
C: 30 items in closet that I don’t wear
T: I can determine why I don’t wear them
F: Optimistic
A: Decide why I don’t wear the 30 items. Refashion or donate what I don’t wear, and make a plan to fill in gaps.
R: I have a functional wardrobe of attractive pieces that I feel and look good in.
Love it Amy!
C: Isolation
T: Don’t overreact, take responsibility for my own happiness! Stop being a recluse…lol.
F: Relieved, empowered, hopeful
A: Make plans to see friends in Dallas more often.
Become involved in Church Women’s group.
Return to work part-time.
R: Happier, connected and wealthier
Thank you Sylvia! This couldn’t have come at a better time! #Grateful
Thanks for sharing your model and great to see that you found the challenge helpful so far.
Of course if this model works for you, then that’s great. I just wanted to point out that ‘isolation’ can’t be a circumstance as it’s a subjective word. It feels more like a thought or a feeling to me. Better to add a neutral circumstance here. Also your T is really an A. It may be important for you to find out what the actual thought is. Why do you think you are isolated? Otherwise you’re just relying on will power to change the reality and that can be hard to maintain. 🙂
Hi Sylvia, that’s an interesting point that my brain wants to hold on for comfort but having them and not letting go is causing anxiety. To grow, I need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable right? I have been taken pictures of items (even house hold items) and sending them to my sisters, when they say let it go, it feels easier. Some of the baby clothes I have were once their children’s baby clothes. I really need to declutter to move on and this model is so helpful. Thank you!!
Intentional Model:
C: Spare room with boxes of children clothes, toys, the children’s things.
T: I can let go of these things, they have served their purpose.
F: Liberated, lighter
A: Take the rest to Good Will tomorrow. Keep 1 box of toys (for grandkids someday) and keep one box of clothes to have quilts made out of them for the girls to give them next Christmas
R: I am decluttering and clearing space for me.
Yes you need to allow that uncomfortable feeling. You will find that it doesn’t last that long. Certainly now that you understand where it’s coming from and that it will not serve you. Also realize: it’s just a sensation in your body. You can deal with a sensation in your body. Rather than be upset that you’re feeling that way, have compassion for it. But then tell it that you don’t have time for it. That you’re busy creating space and an amazing life for yourself.
Your intentional model is great! Does it feel true to you?
Hi Sylvia,
I was a navy wife for 30 years, moved our family every two, not sure if that has something to do with why I hang onto things. It is now letting go of the last 30% of sentimental things that is dreadful but if I practice this intentional model and focus on the result I know I can do it. I still have a bridesmaid dress from my best friends wedding 34 years ago she said let it go. The intentional model does not feel true to me yet but it’s really how I want to feel…the new version of me I simply don’t have time for hanging onto things which is why it is priority on my bucket list. I need to stay grounded and get through it thankfully my husband is very supportive. This challenge really goes hand and hand with everything else I am doing right now…updating my wardrobe and my style (I just had a birthday) growing my business and the life I want and creating space. Being empty nesters is really an incredible time and opportunity. Thanks for helping me get through this!!
Wonderful Susan. Remember if this thought is still too hard to believe, you can also opt for a more neutral one. Or you can just practice this model. Good luck. You’ve got this!
My intentional model:
C: Made 1k with my jewelry business
T: I’m able to make jewelry that people like
F: confident
A: Create more jewelry, tell people about new pieces, go to local fairs to sell it
R: I will have more jewelry to sell and can make more money from it
This thought definitely serves me better and I believe that I make jewelry that people like as I always get compliments on it. Let’s see where this takes me!
Love it Christine. You can totally do this!
Hi Sylvia,
Thanks for the bucket list, it is really food for thought and of course action. I need to practice on a new thought process in order to change my long held beliefs. I am still working on my intentional model to see what limitations I have been putting on myself and then take action accordingly.
Thanks for the good work, I really appreciate your effort in helping women to better their lives. In Kenya, we have a saying that if you do good deeds to others, you are actually doing it to yourself. Looking forward to tomorrow’s list.
Cheers
Great to read that this has been useful to you Joyce. Looking forward to seeing your intentional model!